The Reunion
Elder Darnell Walker, Greenbelt, MD
Catagory: Volume 2, Issue 5 and 6 May/June 2000
My love has made himself known, obedience of the heart caused him to reappear. Love has no darkness, the light shines on my face and my countenance has been restored. Pick up my heart from the ground. Wait for the healing before you present it to me. Cleanse your heart before you approach me, wash your hands before you touch me. My tears are still wet. When you departed, darkness came over me; you were my covering and you left me naked and exposed. Cruelty sought my life, fear hounded me. Why has my revering been entrusted into your hands? Why was your success invested in me? We did not originate in a detached state; our completeness consisted of unity. Your heart is not your own, I possess ownership, my body wasn't created to serve me, but it is a gift to you. My joy has returned, my love for you has sustained me, my covering has been reinstated. When you left, my heart went with you. You have returned it damaged but reparable. Who has touched your heart; the scent of unfaithfulness still lingers. The odor of a forbidden affair follows you like a shadow; I can see the guilt through the smile that once moved my heart. I died when you departed. My heart lies in the tomb, hoping to find rest from the torment of pain. Maybe holding the hand of loneliness is easier than kissing the face of love. Loneliness has a quiet punch, yet, who can stand against the impact of love? I have fallen to the earth. Let me stay so that suffering will seek its next victim.
A stranger has contaminated the love of my youth, your taste is uncomfortable, the warm passion has faded, and a chill has accompanied your caresses. My intimacy has been invaded by the lust of another. My body rejects your contact. Where are my secrets? Who holds my weaknesses? Who spoke your name while my heart was bleeding? My tears have ceased, the cries of my heart can still be heard. You left me unprotected while another abided in the house of safety. Forgiveness is in my heart, but my thoughts will not yield, and the pain of cruelty steals my rest. You have brought the memories of a foreign affair to our bed, an outsider has walked on my holy ground and now she lies between my benefit and me. Your heart has been touched by the unworthy. It was my face you saw in the morning of our love. It was my soul you kissed when your heart was pure, and it was my virginity that was sacrificed because you were worthy.
Can you measure the pain of the lonely nights as my heart died in the shadows of sorrow? Can you see the trail of torn letters, pages of love and joy written by a man of love with beautiful wings that lifted me from depression to hope? The memories of a promise maker have soiled my heart. Can you see the disappointment that covers my face? You have trampled upon my affections, violated my trust, perverted my hope, and defiled my dreams. A heart has been broken; can it be mended? GOD united us in love; HIS love goes deeper than our comprehension and higher than our thoughts.
Your roots run deep within me, my love for you will not let me rest. Your season is now, harvest me before it's too late, before someone else tastes my fruit. Take me away and chase away the fear of tomorrow. Embrace me forever. Touch my heart with your love, so that I might recover from the horror of yesterday. You must hold me in your arms and touch my heart with truth. Deception has knocked on my door before and I answered and was pierced with the spear of sadness. Your love burdened my heart with a load it could not bare; uncertain love is a cruel counselor.
My darling husband, you are the strength of my life, hold me forever. Tell me who resides in your heart is it I? Or do I die another death? Reveal to me that love abides there. Is someone else occupying my seat? Can you hear the whisper of commitment? Can an unfaithful heart be changed? Stand before me until fear disappears. Can you reassemble a broken dream or a shattered heart? Who changed you from a husband to a fool? You have defiled my dreams with a stranger. Hold me until repentance is found in your soul and "I'm sorry" is seen in your eyes.
My darling wife, "I'm sorry" was birthed in my heart before I departed. You were created to be cherished and protected. Taste the sincerity of my heart as I pour myself out to you.
The day of our beginning is written in stone, your love had captured my soul when the morning star was shining, our ambitions were new and our thoughts were one. Listen to my heartbeat. Can you hear my cry? My love for you has not been polluted; I preserved it only for you. There is a place in my heart where you abide; no one else is allowed. I loved you before you took form and shape; the thought of you created a reality in my heart that increased my expectation. My dreams could no longer hold the capacity of my love for you; poetry cannot plunge the depths of what I felt from the start.
I saw life giving birth to qualities in us through adversity and my love for you became greater. The moment of my dedication had been tried, my commitment was tested and I failed, however, my love never departed. I allowed enthusiasm to die only to be replaced by complacency. You deserve my best, not the selfish hand of pride.
In a moment of time love can be felt, but who can measure the sorrow of my heart when I saw tears caused by a fool who wears the face of a husband? I live with regret, only your forgiveness can break these chains. I have fallen, lift me up with your words of love. Let the trust return so that my face will shine again.
I will plunge the depths of my soul to paint the picture of love on your heart. I have pondered the times of the past. I existed without holding your heart in my hands at a time when life was still and moments were blank. I saw myself through the eye of one. The picture was clear, though not complete. I was treated like a wildflower in the wilderness, existing, without knowledge of my destiny, my purpose was hidden in the darkness of confusion.
GOD gave me a gift in the person of love. She possessed your heart and she wore your smile. My love took form and shape and communed with me. My heart danced to the vision that entertained my soul before your arrival, my sorrows stirred and my love rushed from the past to possess eternity. You are the object of why love consoles me and why I desire to pour myself into your soul. You have received me with an open heart like the reception I experience in our quiet time when our flesh is one and our spirits kissed. The love I have for you is beyond words. The intensity is too strong. The passion is too deep and the desire is too great. Only my heart can understand what my words fail to reveal. What I feel for you is uncommon and eternity is its foundation. I tasted forbidden fruit and your confidence died. I must resurrect it so that I may live again in your eyes.
Strange testing and rare moments were uncommon with an unfamiliar but pleasing taste. My ego was feeding on the fruit of lies; she praised her way into my arms and exalted my head above my wisdom. My masculinity was being manipulated by her lust, which was her motive; foolishness was my shame. My heart called your name as I was falling and her persuasive words turned my head away from my promise. My heart sought you as her words caressed my pride and consoled my dissatisfaction, but it was your love that drew me back from the arms of deception.
Nothing can compare to the power of a committed heart, love says "no" to unfaithfulness and "yes" to repentance. My heart saw regret as I walked down the road of sorrow, but your hand upon my heart kept my eyes on the promise. I lost my seat. I have returned willing to fight pride, vanity and to egotism, to reclaim the prize.
My heart called your name when your arms were too short to touch me, and the finger of devotion could not feel my fears. Your heart melted before me as I held you next to my delight; my soul sang within me. I trembled as the thought of losing you was near my door and my gratitude strengthened my heart to love with a determined soul. I am reminded of the promise, my flesh will not rest until I become one with you.
Thank you for pouring love when rejection and disappointment stood before you. I was drowning and you did not cut the tie that binds us. Your love captivated my soul and my eyes saw you when you were not. My cries went unheard and fear touched my heart. I can not hold back the tears of regret; my tears will not cease.
As my eyes beheld a strange face, it was your love that held me captive, it was the singing of your soul that reminded me that a piece of my heart was missing. I spoke your name and heard my cry. I'm sorry I tore your heart with a selfish hand and unfaithfulness defiled your thoughts. The arms of my heart never released you, only the foolishness of my eyes led me astray. Welcome me back between into your heart so I may remember the birth place of our love.
I shall whisper softly in your ear, "You are a beautiful wife and your beauty is manifested by your love and strength. You withdrew me, I am poured out and my shame lies at your feet. Lift me up with your smile. Dedication and commitment have returned to my heart; my love for you is eternal. I allowed fear to enter your heart, please forgive me and permit me to replace the fear with my love to mingle with yours, so that we may bond as one, FOREVER.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them. I Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
