My Journey
Lisa Murphy, Anchorage, Alaska
Catagory: Volume 3
My testimony is really a journey that has yet to be completed. I don't know how long it will last or what road it will take, but I feel I have already been given the greatest treasure.
It started about a year ago when I was transferred to the accounting department to be the new payroll clerk. It was a big step with the opportunity to learn more. I was so excited and grateful to God for this opportunity. Trouble started right away. You know the devil comes immediately to steal and destroy. My company was sold to a large company that had a different vision and a different plan of operations.
In Alaska, things are done very differently than in the lower 48 states. We are a small interacting community. Our attitude is such that we want what's best for Alaska and Alaskans and not so much for ourselves.
Well, this new company came in with a sharp, twisted corporate take-over attitude and changed everything about our company. In my department, we were told that we would be using a new software system, though our old one was far superior to the one. This made us question the new company’s motivation, but we did as we were told. My department worked hard and long, sometimes as much as eighty hours a week, seven days a week. We did all we could to try and make this system work, much to the detriment of my family, my health, but, most importantly, my relationship with God.
In February after eight months of a relentless work schedule, the CEO of our parent company held open meetings. We questioned him regarding this new software system. It wasn't working. That was the beginning of the end. In March, four payroll employees resigned in the same day.
As you may have noticed, I have made very little reference to God up to this point. Well, that's how my life was. I had no time for God. I was at work up to fifteen hours a day, seven days a week. At this point I hadn't been to church in about two months. The devil had me all alone and confused and was kicking me around.
Although I resigned, I agreed to work only eight-hour days, unless I was running a payroll. I remained with the company six more weeks, but during that time I put my relationship with God back where it belonged-first. I prayed and read my Bible daily. I prayed and spoke to God all during the day. The working environment had become unbearable and I needed God just to get me through the day.
After six weeks, I decided that I would leave. Coincidentally, they just hired a new payroll clerk. I gave my notice, and I felt badly about leaving, but I had all I could take.
During this time I had interviewed for the job of my dreams at a great company. It offered better pay, benefits, and opportunities. The interview was great. I was confessing with my mouth that I would get this job. I had prayed for it and I knew I would get it. I told all my co-workers to watch and see how God would work this out. I was really bragging on my God.
Now about the time I was giving my notice, the company with which I had interviewed had called and left a message that I didn't get the job. I was devastated. I felt like I had made a fool of God, because I was bragging on Him and telling everyone I got this job. I thought that this was a horrible testimony for my co-workers. On the way home I cried, but I decided that God is not mocked. He will not be made a fool nor be embarrassed. So through my tears on that ride home, I praised God. I decided to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding. God knew I had financial obligations to meet and I believed all of my needs would be met according to His Will.
The next day was my last day at work. A couple of managers tried to persuade me to stay by offering other jobs. While that made me feel good, I knew God didn't want me here any longer.
About 3:00 in the afternoon, one of the vice-presidents called me into his office. The long and short of it is, I came out of his office as a consultant to the company making $120.00 an hour. I would work every other week, perhaps two days on the off week.
Now that was God! I was in shock and couldn't believe this had happened to me. This is only going to last about 3 months, but I will make more than I made all of last year and then much more. That was exceedingly, abundantly above all I could think or ask. God IS awesome! I still don't have a job after this consulting job ends, but I don't even care. Look what God has done already. I can’t wait to see what He has planned next for my life.
One thing I want you all to understand. This is more than a testimony. This experience has changed my whole life. All my life I have had a relationship with God, but, because of outside forces, I have never felt the fullness of His Love. I have always been a teacher in the children's ministry and could always tell others about how good God is and how much He wants to bless our lives. But I never believed it for myself. I never felt good enough or worthy enough to truly accept God's best for my life. Whenever I came to a crossroads and had to choose between trusting God and going my own way, I chose my way.
This time, for the first time in my life, I chose God. I chose to let the Blood of Jesus make me worthy. I chose to accept that God made me perfect. In God's eyes, I was perfect. If I would just once in my life trust Him, He would make every dream come true, bigger and better than anything I could ever imagine. I felt like I'd been reborn. I felt like a whole new person.
God, has made me worthy. He has made me whole. I am truly humbled by it all. I am ashamed that I never stepped out there and grabbed onto Him so he could be the Daddy I never had.
If there is anyone else that feels this way, you're not alone. I know I'm not the only one damaged by the past and just going along putting on a face for church. Let go of the past! Let God build your future. Trust him! He will not and cannot let you down! He is obligated by His Word and His Love for you to never let you down. Just take that step of faith! He'll be there to catch you. In Isaiah 41:10 it says not to be afraid or dismayed. He will strengthen you, help you and uphold you. He never said he'd let you fall. God loves us more than we could possibly imagine. We just have to take that first step. There is so much love and joy waiting in His Presence.
