Joshua Big Questions
Aureller Cabiness, Suitland, MD
Catagory: Volume 1, Issue 5 and 6 MAY/JUNE 1999
It was a pretty Sunday morning and after we ate our pancakes with syrup my Mom decided to go to church. We go together sometimes but most of the time she would send me by myself. You see my mom works hard and she said that Sunday is her only time to rest. Today I feel badly on the inside, you know not sick, but just not really great either. But I said nothing to my Mom because I really couldn’t explain what is wrong so I just got ready to go.
In Sunday school we sang some songs and prayed and now Ms. Britt was talking. I like to listen to her because she is a great storyteller. She could make you feel like you were the person in the story. She is telling us about how God loves each of us and he made each of us very special. Yeah, right!
Today I am not feeling so special. Yesterday was my birthday and I was eight years old. My mother had ordered an ice cream cake and invited my best friends, Jason and Paul. Mom meant well but it was kind of a babyish cake. It had a circus on it. Yuk! I pretended that I liked it but it would have been better if it had been an astronaut cake or something else. But Mom surprised us by taking us to Chucky Cheeses. We had fun but I just kept feeling like maybe my biggest surprise would be coming through that door any minute. I kept watching the door hoping that my father would come to Chucky Cheeses any minute. I wanted my friends to see my big strong my Dad. Jason and Paul would like my Dad always makes people laugh. But my Dad neither called nor showed up all day long.
To be honest I knew that my father may not show up, but you know how sometimes you dream. Well, you may not actually be dreaming but you feel like you are
dreaming although you are awake. Mom calls that daydreaming. She says that I daydream to keep from cleaning up my room. That is not really true, but since I don’t want her to know how much I miss my Dad I let her think that I daydream because I’m lazy. You see Mom doesn’t know it but I hear her talking to her friends and sometimes crying at night because she really wants Dad to come home. She often whispers in the phone that Dad has another son and a new lady that he loves better than he loves us. She doesn’t think I know and I don’t want her to hurt her feelings so I pretend that I don’t know. She thinks that she is protecting me. At least that the word I heard her use. I don’t really know the meaning or protecting but I know that she thinks that it will hurt my feelings.
Dad came over one day a long time ago, I was seven then, and I asked him if he was coming home to stay (I was afraid to ask him if he had another wife and son). He said that when I become a man I would understand, but I was too young right now. If Mom knew that I cried almost everyday for Dad it would make her more unhappy. I try hard to make Mom happy. I do my very best in school, I try not to complain when it is time to get ready for school and when Mom says that she had more bills to pay than she had money, I don’t tell her that I am invited to my friends’ houses. They may ask me to go bowling or skating, or go cart riding and I don’t think that she can afford it. I heard her say that Dad did not pay child support and she sometimes she did not have enough money for me to do all the things she needed to do for me.
Oops, I must be daydreaming again because, Ms. Britt, the Sunday School teacher, is saying that Jesus came so that those of us who trust in him would be happy. She goes on to say that God has an answer for all of our problems.
She has just finished the story of the little girl who was very sick. Her father was a Centurion or something like that. Ms. Britt says that means that he was a very important man. He asked Jesus to come and heal his daughter. But Jesus took a little too long to get to the little girl’s house. When Jesus did get to the little girl’s house she was dead. The people were crying but Jesus came and said, “She is not dead, she is just sleep”. He told the little girl to get up and she did and she was not sick anymore.
Ms. Britt says that we have power to do just that today. We can pray for people and God can do miraculous things. Miraculous means that Jesus does miracles. A miracle is something that only God and Jesus can do. If Jesus can raise dead people back to life to make them happy, Ms. Britt continues, surely he can answer our prayers. That is why we must learn as much as we can about the Bible. Every problem that we have has already been written about in the Bible, at least that what Ms. Britt and other older people say.
Before I knew it I raised my hand. Ms. Britt, who is a tiny little lady who most people would not call pretty but if you know her she seems beautiful, gives me a big smile and says, “Yes, Josh?” Uh oh, I should have left my hand down. Ms. Britt smiles and says, “Josh do you have a question for now or would you rather ask me later?” I said, “Oh yes, Ms. Britt could I ask you my question right after class?” Ms. Britt says, “Yes, Josh. I’ll see you right after class.” Whew!. There must be a God, because I am too embarrassed to ask her my question out loud.
As soon as Sunday school is over I usually meet my mother in the hall and we go into the big part of the church together. However, I just had to ask Ms. Britt my question. All the other children left the class and there in this pretty room is a picture of Jesus holding a lamb. Now it is just Ms. Britt and me. Ms. Britt’s desk was under that picture. That picture makes me feel good. Ms. Britt makes me feel that same way.
After everyone was gone, she got up, closed the door, opened her arms and gave me a big hug. I liked the hug but I was glad other people did not see it. Ms. Britt kind of guessed that I did not want my friends to see me get a hug. She said, “Josh I know that you are a big boy now, but I wanted to give you a big birthday hug.” I stammered, “Th--Thank you Ms. Britt.” She would never do anything to hurt your feelings in front of others.
She then said, “Now what was that important question you had for me?” Well…(I was really embarrassed now). But what the heck, I was stuck here now. Mom called it “hoof and mouth disease”. That means that sometimes you have said something with your mouth that you wish that you had kept to yourself. Mom says that it meant that you put your foot in your mouth. So I just had to get my foot out of my mouth by asking my question. So I said, “Ms. Britt if there is an answer in the
dreaming although you are awake. Mom calls that daydreaming. She says that I daydream to keep from cleaning up my room. That is not really true, but since I don’t want her to know how much I miss my Dad I let her think that I daydream because I’m lazy. You see Mom doesn’t know it but I hear her talking to her friends and sometimes crying at night because she really wants Dad to come home. She often whispers in the phone that Dad has another son and a new lady that he loves better than he loves us. She doesn’t think I know and I don’t want her to hurt her feelings so I pretend that I don’t know. She thinks that she is protecting me. At least that the word I heard her use. I don’t really know the meaning or protecting but I know that she thinks that it will hurt my feelings.
Dad came over one day a long time ago, I was seven then, and I asked him if he was coming home to stay (I was afraid to ask him if he had another wife and son). He said that when I become a man I would understand, but I was too young right now. If Mom knew that I cried almost everyday for Dad it would make her more unhappy. I try hard to make Mom happy. I do my very best in school, I try not to complain when it is time to get ready for school and when Mom says that she had more bills to pay than she had money, I don’t tell her that I am invited to my friends’ houses. They may ask me to go bowling or skating, or go cart riding and I don’t think that she can afford it. I heard her say that Dad did not pay child support and she sometimes she did not have enough money for me to do all the things she needed to do for me.
Oops, I must be daydreaming again because, Ms. Britt, the Sunday School teacher, is saying that Jesus came so that those of us who trust in him would be happy. She goes on to say that God has an answer for all of our problems.
She has just finished the story of the little girl who was very sick. Her father was a Centurion or something like that. Ms. Britt says that means that he was a very important man. He asked Jesus to come and heal his daughter. But Jesus took a little too long to get to the little girl’s house. When Jesus did get to the little girl’s house she was dead. The people were crying but Jesus came and said, “She is not dead, she is just sleep”. He told the little girl to get up and she did and she was not sick anymore.
Ms. Britt says that we have power to do just that today. We can pray for people and God can do miraculous things. Miraculous means that Jesus does miracles. A miracle is something that only God and Jesus can do. If Jesus can raise dead people back to life to make them happy, Ms. Britt continues, surely he can answer our prayers. That is why we must learn as much as we can about the Bible. Every problem that we have has already been written about in the Bible, at least that what Ms. Britt and other older people say.
Before I knew it I raised my hand. Ms. Britt, who is a tiny little lady who most people would not call pretty but if you know her she seems beautiful, gives me a big smile and says, “Yes, Josh?” Uh oh, I should have left my hand down. Ms. Britt smiles and says, “Josh do you have a question for now or would you rather ask me later?” I said, “Oh yes, Ms. Britt could I ask you my question right after class?” Ms. Britt says, “Yes, Josh. I’ll see you right after class.” Whew!. There must be a God, because I am too embarrassed to ask her my question out loud.
As soon as Sunday school is over I usually meet my mother in the hall and we go into the big part of the church together. However, I just had to ask Ms. Britt my question. All the other children left the class and there in this pretty room is a picture of Jesus holding a lamb. Now it is just Ms. Britt and me. Ms. Britt’s desk was under that picture. That picture makes me feel good. Ms. Britt makes me feel that same way.
After everyone was gone, she got up, closed the door, opened her arms and gave me a big hug. I liked the hug but I was glad other people did not see it. Ms. Britt kind of guessed that I did not want my friends to see me get a hug. She said, “Josh I know that you are a big boy now, but I wanted to give you a big birthday hug.” I stammered, “Th--Thank you Ms. Britt.” She would never do anything to hurt your feelings in front of others.
She then said, “Now what was that important question you had for me?” Well…(I was really embarrassed now). But what the heck, I was stuck here now. Mom called it “hoof and mouth disease”. That means that sometimes you have said something with your mouth that you wish that you had kept to yourself. Mom says that it meant that you put your foot in your mouth. So I just had to get my foot out of my mouth by asking my question. So I said, “Ms. Britt if there is an answer in the
bible for everyone, do you think that there is any one in the Bible who had a father who had two families and the Daddy seemed to like the other family better? My face was hot now. I bet Ms. Britt thought I was crazy. But she said, “Let me think for a moment”. She picked up her bible and said, “Here it is”.
“Yes Joshua. There was once a father who had 12 sons and he loved one of them better. Now, you know that is not the way God wants fathers to be don‘t you? I nodded my head yes, because I wanted her to keep talking. My mother poked her head in and Ms. Britt winked her eye at my Mom and said that she would me bring upstairs because we needed to talk right now. I didn’t mind the wink, grown-ups forget that we kids can see things.
Ms. Britt continued speaking, “Well, Jacob had fallen in love with a woman named Rachel and he promised her father to work for her hand in marriage seven years. In those days you had to pay a price for a wife. Rachel’s father tricked him and put her less attractive sister Leah in her place. Because he did not have a chance to see the wife until he was married, Jacob was fooled and married the wrong sister. However, he worked seven more years and he was later allowed to marry Rachel, the one he really loved. In the meantime, Leah and Jacob had a son named Rueben. They had other sons, but I want you to get to know Rueben. Rueben loved his mother, Leah, and he loved his father. However, his father showed favoritism for Rachel’s oldest son instead of Rueben who was the eldest of all Jacob’s children. Rueben was hurt by his father because his father did not seem to love him like most fathers loved their oldest sons. In those days the oldest sons was given the largest amount of the father’s property, however, it seemed as if Joseph was going to get the most from his father. In the bible it tells of how Joseph was given the coat of many colors. That was the coat that most fathers gave to the oldest son. This really hurt Rueben’s feelings and it hurt his mother and his other brothers. It was wrong for Jacob to give the coat to Joseph. But neither the mother nor the brother could do a thing about it.
You remember the story of Joseph don’t you Josh?” I nodded my head. I remembered that Joseph had told his brother’s that he had a dream that one day they would bow down to him. His brother’s sold him into slavery and later he became a very important man and
they did bow down to him. Joseph later forgave them and they lived happily ever after.
“That’s right”, said Ms. Britt. “However, we seldom hear of how Rueben felt. Rueben saw his mother cry a lot for his father. One day Rueben found some Mandrakes. They were very hard to find. Rachel wanted some and Rueben told her that he would give them to her if she let his father visit his mother. She did but that did not make Jacob love Leah or Rueben more any more than before.”
“Josh sometimes the Bible tells us a story not because it has a happy ending or it is a good story but because sometimes we must change how we see the things that happens to us. In this case Rueben made some bad choices because he did not feel his father’s love. He went along with his brothers when they put Joseph in the pit. Even though he went back to get him and he did stop his other brothers from killing Joseph, he should have stopped them from selling their brother, putting blood on the coat and telling their father that his favorite son was dead. But Rueben made a bad choice. I believe that Rueben always felt badly about what he did to his brother, Joseph, and more than likely he was never really happy because he was afraid his father would find out the truth. His father may have looked upon him differently after Joseph disappeared but that did not make Jacob love Rueben more.”
“Josh, when I say that God made each of us special and he loves us all the same, that does not mean that people love the way should. People make choices. We make choices each day. The choices we make can make others and ourselves either happy or sad. Sometimes people get themselves into tough situations. No matter what they do, someone they love will be hurt. When the people we love hurt us, we must forgive them. However, we must always see ourselves the way God sees us as someone very special. Did I answer your question Josh?”
I said yes because Rueben was an example of a boy whose father loved his other family better. That night I went home and when I said my prayers I prayed that my mother would forgive my father. When he left us, he made a bad choice. When he had another lady and son, he made a bad choice. Because even if my father did come live with us, then his other lady and son would be very sad. I asked God to bless my Dad, because since I want to love like God, I made up my mind that I would always love my Dad because Dad was special to God. I made up my mind that even if I have a brother that my father loves more, I would never do anything to hurt that brother. God made him special too! I don’t want to be a Rueben! I’m too SPECIAL!!!
