Faithful Wife
Elder Darnell Walker, Greenbelt, MD
Catagory: Volume 2, Issue 3 and 4 March/April 2000
My heart has melted from the pain of you, when you withdrew yourself and left me wanting. Where have you gone? My pleasure has departed with you. You have stolen my secrets like a thief in the night. The residue of you still remains. Give me something to hold on to, something substantial. You have deposited yourself in my heart. Now it is heavy from the deprivation of you.
My husband, why did your heart despise me? Why did you choose the path of unfaithfulness? Why did your eyes seek for the arms of a fool? Who took your soul while you were sleeping, leaving you empty and cold? Whose name touched your lips with a kiss? My heart suffered betrayal, my soul cried for your touch, my heart sought for a moment in time to remember the joy you once deposited. I tore out my heart a thousand times to kill the pain.
I feel as though you have gone astray, wandering, searching for your need. Blinded by an uncommitted heart, look at my forgiveness, I am obtainable. Forgiveness remains in me like a permanent fixture. Come and pluck from my tree and taste compassion. I am behind you hoping to see your face. Cast your sight upon me. I can be found. I am the one your conscience spoke of:
You have been created by the SPIRIT of COMMITMENT, you are a creature that feeds on committedness. Someone wants your devotion like a tasty treat, but what are you going to do after you've been consumed and you're cast upon the dunghill. Come back to me and discover your existence. Look in my eyes and see who you are. I will nourish you with ambition. I will be your inspiration. Your success resides in me. What would you do if I went into hiding? Would you care? Would you see traces of my heart in the sand? Would you notice the tie that binds us has been broken? Can you hear the screaming of my soul? Is it possible to hear the beating of my heart? Can you taste my tears? Can you see me in your dreams? Who's wearing my face? Come back before my heart turns to stone, while my cries can still be heard. My soul cries for your return. My heart can't stand the pain of your absence.
You departed, leaving my memories behind. My love has been tried, my patience tested. Who put you in my dreams? Why are you there and not here? Your joy is between me. Come and have your fill. You left me empty and disappointed. Dissatisfaction is my companion, loneliness is my lover. Come and reclaim your place in my heart. My eyes saw darkness when you departed. Can you taste my bosom with a thought? Can you caress me at a distance? Love has no boundaries, but my heart does. Come and reclaim your prize, before I am swept away. I am exposed. You took my security and fled. Who shall hold me when it rains? Who will cover me when I want to be loved?
God took what I needed and vested it in you, feed on the desire that is emplaced in me. Love will take us where we want to go. The love I have for you cannot be contained and why should it be? The love you have will lie dormant if l am not the recipient. If it is directed at another, it will be transformed into lust and destroy you. Within my arms safety dwells. There is a place reserved especially for you. Let me sit upon your chest. Do not let me sink; I need to know that you're there. Put your finger in my mouth, so that I might bite, and you'll know I'm real. I'm not a figment of your imagination. My eyes cry real tears, my heart suffers real pain. Your departure has altered me. How can you think? Who directs your steps? How can love abide alone?
